Desperate, I went for the drive-thru.

Finally, I got it and joined the ranks of women who have come to realize just how fleeting the parenting experience is. With this knowledge came appreciation and gratitude for every (well, almost every) moment with the children.

• "A place for everything" is a nice goal, but if your child has no idea where a toy goes or no space has been allotted for it, how can he put it away? Your first order of business is to figure out in what and where toys and personal objects will reside.
  
  
• Assess the spaces in your home where toys can be stored. Are the spaces near your child's play areas? Are they easily accessible (safely) to your children? Is there room to add more toys over time without having to store or get rid of items that are still being used?
  
  
• When looking around for space, use the "things of a kind" rule to store like items with, or at least near, each other. Create an area for building-type toys, another for CDs, another for snowboarding equipment, dolls, etc.
  
  
• For young children, put up low shelves that surround the bedroom or a section of the family room so they can take what they want and put it back without you always having to be on guard. Make sure these shelves are safely secured to the walls, especially if your children are very little.

• Does your child love to play dress-up? Store costumes in large, sturdy plastic garbage cans that can be dug into, turned over, or climbed on without getting damaged.
  
  
• Visit an ice cream store and ask if you can take home the plastic containers when they are done with them. Store-sized ice cream containers are large, deep and round. Hung on a wall, they are perfect to stash art supplies or even socks.
  
  
• Zippered sandwich bags in a variety of sizes are a great way to store the pieces of a snap-together building toy (Legos, for example) as well as a multitude of other items. They are see-through and easy to open. Pile filled bags on shelves or in drawers.
  
  
• Find creative uses for other store-bought items sucj as a hamper (bats and balls), a shoe bag (activity and coloring books), a drawstring stuff bag (child-sized "cookware"), a rolling cart (books or CDs), a milk crate (videos), and even a tackle box (beads, trading cards).
  
  
• Take a stroll through a discount department store and you will find an enormous selection of plastic containers sized from fitting a few toy cars to an entire life-sized stuffed panda bear. Choose those that are clear and have snap-on lids with a sturdy closure. Take your young child along to see if he can unsnap the lids without your help. There are some things you want him to be able to get to by himself, i.e., safe one-piece toys.
  
  
• Buy a label maker and label shelves, drawers, baskets, and containers so there is no confusion where things go.

• Make clean-up easy by assigning a basket to each family member and/or room. Odds and ends found all over the house can be dropped into the appropriate baskets. Family members pick up their baskets and put their wayward items where they belong.
  
  
• Small, single uncategorized items can go into one bucket or container. Mark it "Stuff" and go through it frequently. (I'm often amazed what winds up in ours, including a piece of pizza and my lost car keys.)
  
  
• To avoid feeling like you are in the business of toy management, keep the clutter down by recycling toys that have been outgrown (and have no sentimental value) or are irreparably damaged. Enlist your kids' opinions about who should receive the toys. The same rule works for outgrown or outmoded clothing. Perhaps someone else less fortunate can use your child's in-still-good-condition garments.
  
  
• Is your house overflowing with the work of your budding artiste? Try these art storage tips:
  • A cheap, vinyl three-ring binder filled with plastic sheet protectors is a perfect way to archive smaller art pieces. You can date and label each book and your child can look at her work anytime.
    
    
  • Have your child create his own portfolio out of brown butcher paper to store larger pieces of art. Fold the paper in half to create an envelope, seal the sides with glue or staples, and your child can decorate his portfolio.
    
    
  • Have an ugly wall in your family or play room? Cover the wall with corkboard and let your kids design their own gallery of work.

When 5-year old Andrew uttered these words during a quiet stroll on the beach last summer his adoptive father, Tony Kahn, was shocked.

"I felt like a hole opened up under my feet," recalls Kahn, a freelance television writer and producer whose credits include, Here in My Arms, the story of Andrew's adoption. Regaining his composure, Kahn assured his son, "I'm your real father in every way that matters."

I am an "old mom."

• A young mom chooses her baby's name sentimentally, poring over name books, discussing selections with family and friends, and learning the meaning of every one of her choices before settling on one that fits her family, style and last name. (Think Alexandria)
• An old mom chooses her child name practically, by length - the shorter the name, the easier it will be to teach the child to print it. (Think Al)
• A young mom demonstrates herkie jumps at the Pee Wee football league cheerleading tryouts without breaking a sweat.
• An old mom sits in the sweaty storage room and counts pom poms...and still has to have her feet rubbed afterwards.
• A young mom arrives to pick up her son at preschool sporting the latest Jennifer Aniston hairdo and wearing a color-coordinated capris-and-crop top outfit.
• An old mom picks up her son at preschool wearing a tie die tee shirt, navy sweatpants and keds without socks. Her hair has no style, but there is some toothpaste right in front near the gray.
• A young mom hides in the bathroom to be alone.
• An old mom knows that's the first place they look - and they won't hesitate to walk in.
• A young mom knows all the words to the latest Creed song.
• An old mom knows all the words to the Apostles' Creed.
• A young mom drives an SUV during the school week and her hubby's convertible on weekends.
• An old mom drives a rusting station wagon that bears a bumper sticker reading, "I brake for unicorns."
• A young mom leaves her kids at the sitter so she can have a dinner-and-dancing date with her spouse.
• An old mom leaves her kids at the sitter so she can take a nap.
• An old mom had her first child in the 80's.
• A young mom was born in the 80's.
• A young mom volunteers to help out at her daughter's science fair, then does so between shopping at the mall with some friends and creating a spreadsheet for her employer.
• An old mom volunteers to help out at her daughter's science fair and schedules the entire day off, knowing she'll need to conserve her energy beforehand and to put her feet up afterwards.
• A young mom still cooks gourmet dinners.
• An old mom has mastered the art of putting hot dogs, French fries and apple sauce on one plate with none of the foods touching.
• A young mom jumps up and down, cheering on her little leaguer as he runs from base to base.
• An old mom is trying to keep the score book for one kid's game while running from field to field to check in on the other kids.
• A young mom's idea of a fun afternoon is taking the kids for multiple rides on the SuperDooperLooper at the nearest theme park.
• An old mom's idea of a fun afternoon is finding a fast food place with an indoor play area, where she can read the paper and relax while the kids roll around in a roomful of plastic balls.

"What could be worse than being an old mom?" I asked.

She smiled. "I'm a young grandmom."

• Look anyplace where children gather—moms can't be far behind!
  
  
• Look into playgroups that are designed not just for the kids, but also for moms looking to make connections, sip tea, and share a few laughs.
  
  
• Discover your neighborhood parks. The best time to go is midweek between late morning and lunchtime or right after lunch. On weekends, daddies often populate parks.
  
  
• Sign up for mommy-and-me activities at your gym, or join story-time at the library or bookstore.
  
  
• Some malls organize stroller walks for moms with small kids. If your mall isn't doing this, ask the community relations or PR person at the mall to help you start one.
  
  
• Are you a member of a church, synagogue, or other spiritual center? Look for moms dropping their children off at childcare during the services.
  
  
• Ask your pediatrician and OB-GYN, the hospital where you gave birth, or the agency you used to adopt, to help you connect with other moms in your area.
  
  
• Communicate with other moms at the mall or grocery store, or stroll through your neighborhood on a nice day, and suggest a play date with a mom you might meet.
  
  
• Put notices up on bulletin boards at your spiritual center, your childcare or a babysitting service, or at a children's clothing or toy company. You may want to consider putting your phone number or email on the flyer. You can also put a notice in a local parenting publication; look for notices already printed there, maybe another mom is looking to make a new friend, too.
  
  
• New to your area? Call the Welcome Wagon to see if they know of a moms group.
  
  
• Do you work in an office? Don't have time during the day for a playgroup? Gather up a bunch of moms in your office (you'll know them by the pictures of kids on their desks) and start a "Moms Do Lunch" club once a week.

• Once you're in a situation with other moms, smile, introduce yourself, and pick something to talk about that would be of interest to both of you ("Where did you find that great sand toy?" "Have you heard that pumpkins have a lot of beta carotene?")
  
  
• If you didn't feel at home with the first playgroup you try, try another group, or try the same one another day. Don't give up!

• Can't find an existing group? Start your own playgroup by gathering moms from all the sources listed above. Take turns meeting weekly at each other's houses or at the park during nice weather.
  
  
• Decide what time you want to meet, how long to meet for, and how to handle birthdays. Will you collect dues for communal snacks or bring your own? Whether to invite new members or limit membership should be discussed in advance.
  
  
• Gather all the families, including the daddies, a few times a year so your family friendships can deepen over time.
  
  
• Over 40? Mother of twins? Adoptive mom? Consider starting up a specialized group.

Effective planning lays the essential groundwork for a successful home purchase. First you need to answer these questions for yourself: Can I really buy a new home? Am I ready?

These are substantial tax deductions. Just the mortgage interest alone is a hefty, annual tax break.

A hypothetical homebuyer, who takes out a 30-year loan for $120,000 at 7.5 percent interest, pays $8,957 in mortgage interest the first year. That's a potential tax deduction of nearly $9,000.

You also might be eligible to deduct the purchase points for the year of your purchase. One point is equal to one percent of the loan amount, in this case $1,200. The only things you can't deduct are your homeowner insurance, loan processing fees, or private mortgage Insurance (PMI). If you don't itemize on your tax return now, and your home deductions exceed the 1999 standard deduction of $7,200 for married couples filing together or $4,300 for single filers, then there may be strong motivation for you to own a home from a tax standpoint.

You can also factor in non-home related deductions, such as charitable contributions, state income taxes and other deductions available to people who itemize.

So, you can see clearly that tax laws are structured to benefit homeowners.

That's the best news of owning.

• You have your own castle, and being King or Queen of your castle is worth something.



• Nothing beats putting your feet up and thinking, "I own this place." You can't put a price on the feelings of satisfaction and permanence that come from owning your own home.



• It comes from things like the freedom of being able to remodel to suit the needs or your growing family or tastes; or gardening and barbecuing on the new deck; even from watching the kids play in the yard or chatting with a neighbor over the fence. The biggest benefits are putting down roots in the community. None of these benefits are fully available to you when you rent.

You can reinvest your equity by borrowing against it and obtaining a home equity loan or second mortgage.

That puts your money to work for anything from remodeling to investments to paying for your child's college education.

Unfortunately, good news is not the whole picture. There are some downsides to owning a home that we would be remiss in not telling you. Move on to see if they are big enough reasons to stay put in your rented residence.

You have to face the realities of owning before you blindly rush into a major decision . . . and buying a home is about as major as you can get when it comes to investing.

The long and winding road: Home ownership involves a long-term financial commitment, not only to monthly mortgage payments but also to utilities, homeowner's insurance, and maintenance and repair costs, as well. Your monthly payments may be higher than the rent you're paying now, not to mention the upfront costs of making a 5-10% down payment plus closing costs. Homeownership is not advisable it if it means you won't have a penny left over for anything else.

Itchy feet sufferers should wait: Don't buy if you don't want to stay. Itchy feet aren't just for athletes. It applies equally to homes. If you aren't willing to commit to owning for at least five years to allow your investment to appreciate, don't buy. That means you won't be able pack up your stuff and leave with a month's notice, which you can do as long as you remain a renter.

One price of home ownership is decreased mobility.

If you expect to move in the next year or two because of a job change or some other reason, now may NOT be the time to buy.

Forget about passing the jobs to a Super! All the around-the-house jobs fall into your lap, the minute you become an owner. Someone (meaning you or someone you pay or cajole) has to mow the lawn and rake leaves; fix the faucet; call (and pay) the air conditioner repairman or roofer. All those things you took for granted as a renter are now your responsibility as a homeowner. That's why some people choose to buy into a condominium. This option minimizes the energy and time required for proper home maintenance upkeep.

Falling market gamble: Buying a home is a risk -- you can win or lose. If the real estate market takes a turn for the worse and home values fall, you run the risk of losing money on your investment. There's always some risk involved in real estate, especially if you buy during an upswing when home values are high.

But, should you fail to keep up your mortgage payments, even for reasons beyond your control, the lender may foreclose on and sell your property. This results in the loss of not only your home but also your investment and your good credit rating.

That next step is a self-assessment of your financial strength, which will show you in black and white if you're actually as ready as you hope you are. It will simultaneously help you discover the proper price range of homes you can afford. Actually, we'll work our way into the answer to both questions in reverse sequence.

Calculating a monthly mortgage payment

Can you afford to buy?
You believe that you're fully capable of making a mortgage payment each month, right?

Since you know that it's pretty much like making a rent payment, with a few additional considerations thrown in.

OK, then. Let's do a sample calculation. Get a sheet of paper, a calculator, and a pencil. This will only take a few minutes. People who think numbers are about as warm and cuddly as grizzly bears will find this exercise surprisingly pleasant. Once you see how quickly you learn to use these tools, you'll be able to tame the REAL numbers in your own market area with the greatest of ease.

• The total loan amount (the selling price minus 10% for the down payment)
• The interest rate you'll pay on that total loan amount, and
• The repayment term, or length of time you have to repay the loan

Write three words down in a column on your work sheet, just like this:

LOAN :
RATE :
TERM :

1. Pick a repayment term: How long are you going to take to repay? Let's say that you expect to get a standard 30-year fixed-rate mortgage. So, write "30" behind the word TERM on your worksheet.

2. Pick an interest rate: Another easy figure. For our example we're going to assume that the interest rate is 8%. So, write 8% on your worksheet behind the word RATE.

   To find the current interest rate on a 30-year fixed rate mortgage, look in the real estate section of your local newspaper or call a mortgage lender.

3. Pick a price: Try to be realistic! Since you're already interested in becoming a homeowner, you've probably been gazing wistfully at the real estate ads in newspapers or visited a couple of open houses. You have an approximate idea of selling prices of homes in your area. We'll use $90,000 as the selling price for the Example.

4. Figure the total loan amount:
   To establish the total amount of your loan, first figure what amount is 10% of the selling price you've just selected. We'll consider that the amount you'll make as a down payment. In our case, the down payment amount would be $9,000 which means that the rounded-off total loan amount will be $80,000. Write that number on your worksheet behind the word LOAN.

So, in our example, our total loan amount is $80,000, which we'll borrow over 30 years, at a fixed rate of 8% per year.

Now multiply 80,000 by 8%. You get 6400, which will be a total annual interest amount. Divide that by 12 months and your monthly payment is just $533.

NOTE: When you look this up on a standard mortgage chart you'll find that the total principal and 8% interest payment will be $587. These are solid ballpark numbers you can use reliably to estimate monthly housing payments.

To figure out how much your loan will really cost you, use our calculator which determines how much house you can really afford. In the box asking for your APR, substitute the interest rate if an APR is not available. This will give you a good idea how much your loan will really cost you in the long run.

You can also save a fortune in interest costs if you pre-pay your mortgage by making small extra monthly payments.

Wow! That's less than my rent!
Yes, low numbers can be exciting ... especially when they are lower than your current rent. But, wait a moment. We aren't done yet. You still have a few things to add. Don't run to your real estate agent based on these numbers yet.

Don't forget that you'll pay property taxes and homeowners insurance on top of that figure. Tax rates are set locally and both the insurance premium and tax payment will vary according to the cost of your home. In addition, you might need to pay private mortgage insurance (PMI) if you put less than 20% down.

Calculate the Add-ons
This means adding all those other numbers that are bound to occur. To cover these expenses, multiply the purchase price by .002% (two-tenths percent), and add that figure to your monthly principal and interest payment, just to be safe. In the above example for a $90,000 home, that equals $180 on top of $587 for a total monthly cost of $767. Remember also the additional expenses of maintenance and repair.

Lenders will look at two basic numbers in deciding how much you can afford to borrow. Keep in mind: Once you know how much you can borrow you'll also know the price range of houses to look at.

What a lender inspects
This is where the paper pile begins! Your monthly housing costs, which include mortgage payment, taxes, and insurance; and, your total debt, which includes monthly housing costs - plus any long-term debts like a student loan, car loan, credit cards or other installment debt.

Understand basic borrower guidelines
They aren't too difficult... The lending guideline is that you should spend no more than 28% of your monthly gross income (before taxes) on housing expense. That can include business income, disability or retirement benefits, alimony, child support, etc.

Also, your total monthly debt payment, including housing and other long-term debts, should be no higher than 36% of your monthly gross income.

Check your credit rating
This is essential! A good credit report is an important part of your financial profile. Before you begin the process of applying for a mortgage loan be sure that you review your most recent credit report.

Be certain all of the information included in it is accurate.

Errors or misinformation in your credit history could have a negative impact on your chances for the best loan and interest rate.

When NOT to buy
There are times when you should just walk away. If you've had some past financial problems, it's not the end of the road; you just need to fix them before you try to purchase a home. Even if you've gone through bankruptcy, all you need is time to handle your debts and repair your credit history. It may take a year or two to fine-tune your financial profile, but it's well worth it.

Perhaps your credit picture is not as black as the bankruptcy scenario but not picture perfect, either.

How much can you qualify for? With stable employment and income, you should be able to qualify for a mortgage loan worth almost twice your annual income. By taking time to improve your credit rating, you could raise that figure substantially.

Single borrower's gross annual salary __________
Total monthly Income (annual salary divided by 12) __________
Monthly gross income __________
Multiply by 28% __________
Allowable monthly housing costs __________
Home purchase price __________
Down payment __________
Mortgage loan amount __________
30-year loan/8% Interest – monthly payment (PI) __________
Taxes and insurance __________
Total monthly housing costs __________
Monthly gross Income __________
Multiply by 36% __________
Allowable total monthly debt __________
Other monthly debts __________
Car payment __________
Credit cards __________
Total monthly other debts __________
Total monthly housing costs __________
Total other monthly debts __________

Total monthly costs __________

It's not the end of the road if you fall outside the guideline percentages by a few points. The guidelines are just that, guidelines. You can use this chart as a tool to calculate approximately what you can afford. Lenders will treat the guidelines flexibly. So have some faith!

Mortgage: A Contract in which a lender loans funds and receives secured Interest in property until the funds are repaid.

Equity: The difference between the fair market value of the Property and the amount of Debt outstanding against it.

Foreclosure: The legal process by which a borrower is deprived of their Interest in the Mortgaged Property. This usually is the last action taken by a lender to collect from a borrower in default. Foreclosure involves a forced sale of the Property at public auction with the proceeds of the sale being applied against the mortgage debt.

Homeowner's Insurance: An insurance policy that protects a dwelling and its contents from personal liability and damage. Sufficient coverage is required by lenders.

PMI: Private Mortgage Insurance, which protects the lender in case of default by the borrower. PMI is often used when buyers obtain financing with less than a 20% down payment.

Point: A charge by the lender representing 1 percent of the amount of the Mortgage.

Property tax: A charge imposed on the assessed value of real estate, to be used to support the State or municipality who in turn utilizes the funds in the best Interest of the general public.

Copyright 2000 RealHome.com. All Rights Reserved.

• Do you thrive on interaction with co-workers?
• Do you require a lot of direction at work?
• Do you enjoy getting dressed up every day?

• Are you a self-motivator?
• Are you organized?
• Does your husband or partner support your decision to work at home?
• Are you proficient in information and communication technology?
• Do you have an area of your home you can designate for an office?
• Can you afford the startup costs of a new business or the possible salary deduction for a change in status from your current job?

• How your change in status will affect corporate culture. If you can telecommute, will others demand the same privilege?
• How will you ensure you remain motivated and continue to deliver?
• How will the logistics play out? Will the company have to outfit your home office? Who will cover the cost of your computer, fax and Internet service?
• How will your relocation to a home-office affect communication? Will your superiors and co-workers be able to reach you in an emergency?

• Is your child's body usually calm or in motion?
• Is he on the go all day?
• Does he fidget and squirm, or is he able to relax and sit still for long periods of time without protest?

• Does the whole world know when your child is happy or angry?
• Does he have intense responses to life and display his emotions without reserve?
• Or is your child more thoughtful and mild?
• Do you find that you often have to guess at your child's feelings?

Try the "Stop-Space-Regroup-Redo" technique:

Stop: When you begin to feel angry, stop. Stop talking. Stop moving. Defuse your own emotions first so you can help your child.

Space: Put some distance between yourself and your child. If your child is a baby, toddler, or preschooler, put her in a safe spot (in her crib or the arms of another person). If your child is older, remove yourself from the situation with a good exit line: "I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back."

Regroup: Take some deep breaths and think over the situation. Calm yourself down and decide how you will handle things. This is far better than simply reacting in the heat of the moment.

Redo: Come back to your child with a clear idea of what you are trying to accomplish.

• Does your child "go with the flow"?
• Does she change her routine or plans easily and without complaint?
• Or is your child comfortable with and dependent on routine and more likely to fight change or disruptions?

- "After breakfast, we're going to Grandma's."
- "In 15 minutes, we're going to Grandma's."
- "Five minutes. Then you'll put your puzzle away, and we'll get shoes on and go to Grandma's."
- "One more minute. Then please put your puzzle away."

• Can your child shut out noises and action beyond her point of focus?
• Or is she easily sidetracked by every bird that flies by, every phone that rings, and even by her own daydreams?

• Does your child have a predictable pattern of sleeping and eating?
• Or does he get tired and hungry at different times each day?

• Does your child laugh and smile easily and frequently? Is he generally joyful and pleasant?
• Or is your child more pessimistic — crying, whining, or complaining more often than you'd like?

• Is your child always eager to try something new, always happy to make a new friend, always brimming with curiosity?
• Or is she cautious and slow to warm up to new people and activities?

- ease him slowly into meeting strangers
- avoid putting him in the spotlight
- refrain from talking for him when he's framing a response

• Do shirt tags, sock seams, bright lights, and loud sounds bother your child?
• Or does she mainly ignore these things?

• When the going gets tough, does your child get impatient and frustrated — and then give up?
• Or does he keep trying no matter how long it takes or how difficult the task?

• Will this be the house where your children will spend all of their formative years, or do you anticipate another move in two or three years?



• Do your career plans include a change of employers in the near future?


By how many will your family grow while you live in this house (including live-in grandparents)?


• How close do you want to live to the extended family or to work? (Shorter commuting time translates into more family time.)

• What is the current enrollment of the school system?



• What is the projected enrollment over the next few years?



• How many homeowners have children in the school system compared to those who do not? This is an important consideration when it comes to voting on local legislation involving the schools.



• How many elementary schools funnel into how many middle and high schools?



• Do the schools offer enrichment programs?



• Does the school provide an after-school childcare program or is one available nearby?



• Are there long-range plans for school expansion?

Children who develop financial responsibility early will reap its benefits the rest of their lives.

Classes are fun and clearly a source of learning for children about themselves and what they can do in their world. With careful assessment, parents can find enjoyable, interesting classes and activities for young children that support learning and are appropriate for their child's unique abilities and interests throughout development.

• As early as a few weeks of being a parent, you and your child can enroll in a parent support class or baby gym where you meet other new parents and their babies. These classes are usually facilitated by child development/parenting specialists and are a wonderful way to become connected to others entering this new chapter in life. While initially babies sleep or gaze at each other during class, in no time they will move and interact with their playgroup buddies.
• Music classes can be wonderful for young children. Whether sitting on a parent's lap or standing up and dancing, children participate and learn in their own ways. Some classes are organized and facilitated by music teachers who sing, play instruments, and have appropriate expectations for a class of babies and toddlers. Or for a more casual approach, some neighborhood moms groups have set up weekly music classes where parents take turns facilitating. Either way allows children to learn and parents to socialize and cut a rug.

• T-ball, soccer, and gymnastics are very popular for active little ones. These classes introduce children to the equipment, vocabulary, and rules of the game (including safety). Kids get a feel for the sport, have fun, and get some healthy exercise. Once the novelty of a new class wears off, parents have the opportunity to assess whether there is a genuine interest and if future classes that are more in-depth are appropriate.

• A popular activity to ease children into a more structured experience is the neighborhood library story time. This helps kids learn to sit with peers and work on listening skills while enjoying interesting stories.
  
  
• For children who enjoy music class but are ready for something a little more structured, the next step may be a dance class. These classes vary in the type of dance instruction and amount of structure. For younger children, a class that is looser in structure and somewhat repetitive in class content – so children know what to expect – yields the happiest and most participative students.
  
  
• Another option is a music class that is specific to this age group. The teachers in these classes share songs and talk about instruments, rhythm, and movement in ways that are appropriate for the preschooler. Preschoolers can still enjoying exploring instruments in their own creative ways, and children 6 - 10 can start with piano lessons or learning other instruments.
  
  
• There are debates about whether or not it is appropriate for young children to learn the basics of swimming and skiing. Some feel earlier instruction gives children and their parents a false sense of security. Others claim that if the child is interested, there is no harm in exposure to the sport as long as a parent or caregiver is participating. No matter how athletically gifted a child appears to be, parents and caregivers need to keep watch over their children while they participate in all sports.
  
  
• Art class is a wonderful activity that is appropriate for preschool ages. These classes do not teach how to draw, but rather provide materials to explore and create. It's a hands-on experience for children to manipulate different mediums. Besides supporting an interest, art classes provide a more "quiet" activity that is often helpful for those long afternoons without naps.

Whether you realize it or not, general rescuing of the over-adventurous little one involves fast reflexes and lots of catching and carrying on your part—all great workouts.

Work-at-Home Alternatives
The prospect of becoming a stay-home mom may be very appealing to some women, while others may have mixed feelings about the loss of a family's second income. Additionally, they may be reluctant to give up the mental challenges associated with involvement in the workforce and concerned about keeping up with their careers.

In today's business world, becoming a stay-home mom doesn't have to be an "all or nothing" proposition. Some companies are willing to re-negotiate a woman's job description, enabling her to work from home. Telecommuting options and flexible work schedules are becoming more commonplace and can even be economically viable options for employers as opposed to investing in the training of replacement personnel.

Other opportunities worth exploring include home-based businesses, consulting, web-page designing, freelance writing or translating. Moms working from home face additional demands, but it can be the ideal solution for a woman who wants to earn supplemental income or keep a "foot in the door" of her career field, yet be home with her children.

For more on being a stay-home mom, read Stay at Home Successfully: Ten tips to keep your home and life in order.

• Immersion programs allow children to spend part or all of the school day learning in a second language. In full (total) immersion programs, which are available in a limited number of schools, children learn all of their subjects (math, social studies, science, etc.) in the second language. Partial immersion programs operate on the same principle, but only a portion of the curriculum is presented in the second language. In this type of program, a child may learn social studies and science in Spanish or French in the morning and learn mathematics and language arts in English in the afternoon. In both cases, the second language is the medium for content instruction rather than the subject of instruction. Children enrolled in immersion programs work toward full proficiency in the second language and usually reach a higher level of competence than those participating in other language programs.
  
  
• FLES programs are more common than immersion programs. A second language is presented as a distinct subject, much as science or social studies. Typically, the course is taught three to five times per week. Depending on the frequency of the classes and the opportunity for practice, children in these programs may attain substantial proficiency in the language studied.
  
  
• FLEX programs introduce students to other cultures and to language as a general concept. Time is spent exploring one or more languages or learning about language itself. The emphasis is not on attaining proficiency. Although some proficiency may be attained with a once- or twice- per-week program emphasizing the use of a specific language, parents should not expect children to attain fluency in such programs. These programs, however, can provide a basis for later learning.

Advocates for Language Learning
P.O. Box 4962
Culver City, CA 90231
Phone: 310-313-3333

American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages
6 Executive Plaza
Yonkers, NY 10701-6801
Phone: 914-963-8830
Fax: 914-963-1275
E-mail: actflhq@aol.com
Web: http://www.actfl.org

ERIC Clearinghouse on Languages and Linguistics
4646 40th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20016-1859
Toll free: 800-276-9834
E-mail: eric@cal.org
Web: http://www.cal.org/ericcll

The National FLES* Institute
The University of Maryland at Baltimore
Department of Modern Languages and Linguistics
Baltimore, MD 21228
Phone: 410-455-2336

National Network for Early Language Learning
Center for Applied Linguistics
4646 40th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20016-1859
Phone: 202-362-0700
E-mail: nnell@cal.org
Web: http://www.educ.iastate.edu/nnell

• Stay focused. Yes, it's great to look around at the artwork on the walls of your child's classroom, but save the sightseeing tour for another day. Your goal is to get as much information about how your child can do his best in school from the person who spends almost as much time with him each day as you do.
  
  
• Find out how your child learns best: Is he visual (he needs to be shown how to do things or read about how it's to be done), auditory (he needs to hear the words before he can understand), or is he more hands-on? Most people learn in a combination of ways, but usually do best with one area.
  
  
• You need to know how your child behaves in class, how he pays attention to the task at hand, and how he interacts with other kids in the class. These are equally important pieces of the learning pie.

• Take the time to meet your child's teacher face-to-face before the big day. If that's not possible, call her on the phone or write a note intorducing yourself. Tell the teacher how important your child's education is to you. This will break the ice and make you allies in your child's future.
  
  
• Think about how to best describe your child to his teacher. What is important for her to know? For instance, is your child likely to volunteer answers in the class? Include your child's good points and areas for improvement, as well as your child's likes and dislikes so that you can create a realistic picture. Are there any problems at home the teacher should know about? What techniques have you tried that work with your child. You can tell her about anything from time-outs to color-coding homework.
  
  
• Make a list of specific questions or concerns that you want answered. Bring the list with you so you can make sure you cover everything. Take notes during the meeting. Follow up at a later date with more questions if you think it's necessary.
  
  
• Don't just nod your head at everything the teacher says. Ask questions and add information. You want to work together toward the common goal of educating your child.
  
  
• Once the conference is behind you, check in with the teacher periodically to see how your child is progressing.

• No matter where your child is on the learning graph, there's always room for improvement. If not offered, ask for a plan for your child and find out what the teacher's expectations are over the next several months.
  
  
• If your child is more advanced than others in the class, you should be satisfied that there is a plan to keep her challenged. If there isn't one (often gifted children are overlooked by teachers not trained in that area), work on one together or ask for a referral to someone who can. Follow up to be sure the plan is implemented.

• Is your child achieving according to the teacher's expectations? Underachieving? Is he pushing himself to be perfect?
  
  
• What does the teacher see as your child's strong points and weaknesses? These may be different from your observations.
  
  
• What are your child's favorite subjects or tasks? Does he tackle new projects enthusiastically or does he come to it dragging his feet? How is the situation handled if he resists?
  
  
• What books and authors does your child like best? What books are read in class? Is he working at his grade level? If not, what plan is there to help him improve or be more challenged?
  
  
• How does the teacher plan to meet the standards set by the school district? What type of assessments are used and how frequently are they administered?
  
  
• Does your child respond better at certain times of the day?
  
  
• Is your child making wise choices in terms of friends in the class? Is he making friends at all? Who are his friends and how does the teacher view those children?
  
  
• Is your child paying attention in the classroom? Does he do what is asked of him?
  
  
• What topics won't be addressed in the classroom that should be discussed and studied at home? For instance, should your child participate in enrichment programs such as music lessons or art projects?
  
  
• What can you do at home to support what your child is learning in the classroom?

• "Ask about discipline. What behavior management techniques are used in the classroom?"
  
  
• "Let your child have input about the conference. Is there anything that he would like you to discuss on his behalf?"
  
  
• "There's no better way to see what is going on in your child's classroom than by volunteering there."

Parents are nurses responsible for their child's nutrition and physical well-being. They are teachers educating their kids in the ways of life. They are economists planning for the financial management of their household, and they are the diplomats and officials required to sort through sibling and parent/child conflicts.

Related Content:

• Talk with your infant or young child before he learns to read. Talking with your child before he even speaks will help him learn important language skills. Most children need strong oral language skills if they are to develop as readers and writers. Using short, simple sentences, you can talk about your daily activities, what he is seeing and doing, his environment, sizes of objects, the shapes of signs, and so forth.
  
  
• Read to and with your child at least 30 minutes each day. Your child will gain awareness of the conventions of reading (left to right, top to bottom), and even the very young will gain vocabulary. Running your index finger under the print as you read will help your child notice that printed words have meaning. Gradually you can ask her to identify letters and sounds.
  
  
• Sing songs and recite poems and rhymes that have repetitive sounds. Repetition makes it easier for your child to pick up on the patterns in the sounds you make.
  
  
• Make sure your child's day care provider, nursery school teacher, or preschool teacher reads aloud daily and offers books for your child to look at.
  
  
• Model good reading habits. Help your child understand that reading is important by letting him see you reading maps, books, recipes, and directions. Suggest reading as a free-time activity. Keep books that are of interest to your child in an easy place for him to reach.
  
  
• Visit your local library. While you're there you can sign your child up for preschool story time and let her choose some books to take home.

• Continue being a good role model. Let your child see you read.
  
  
• Encourage your child to read on her own at home. Reading at home can help your child do better in school.
  
  
• Keep a variety of reading materials in the house. Make sure to have reading materials for enjoyment as well as for reference.
  
  
• Encourage your child to practice reading aloud. Frequently listen to your child read out loud and praise her often as she does so. Offer to read every other page or even every other chapter to your child. Have conversations and discussions about the book with your child.
  
  
• Write short notes for your child to read. Write down his weekly household responsibilities for him to keep track of or put a note in his lunch bag.
  
  
• Encourage activities that require reading. Cooking (reading a recipe), constructing a kite (reading directions), or identifying a bird's nest or a shell at the beach (reading a reference book) are some examples.
  
  
• Establish a reading time, even if it's only 10 minutes each day. Make sure there is a good reading light in your child's room and stock her bookshelves with books and magazines that are easy to both read and reach.
  
  
• Talk with your child. Talking makes children think about their experiences more and helps them expand their vocabularies. Ask your child to give detailed descriptions of events and to tell complete stories.
  
  
• Give your child writing materials. Reading and writing go hand in hand. Children want to learn to write and to practice writing. If you make pencils, crayons, and paper available at all times, your child will be more inclined to initiate writing activities on his own.
  
  
• Restrict television time. The less time your child spends watching television, the more time he will have for reading-related activities.
  
  
• Visit the library once a week. Have your child apply for her own library card so she can check out books on her own for schoolwork and for pleasure reading. Ask your child to bring home a library book to read to a younger sibling and encourage her to check out books on tape that she can listen to on long car trips.
  
  
• Work in partnership with your child's school. The more you know about the type of reading program his school follows, the more you can help by supplementing the program at home. Offer to volunteer in the classroom or school library as often as your schedule allows. Ask the school for parent participation materials.

U.S. Department of Education
600 Independence Avenue, Room 6100
Washington, DC 20202
Toll Free: 1-800-USA-LEARN (872-5327)
Toll Free TDD: 1-800-437-0833
Phone: 202-401-8888
Web: http://www.ed.gov/inits/americareads/

American Library Association
Association for Library Service to Children
50 East Huron
Chicago, IL 60611
Toll Free: 1-800-545-2433
TDD: 312-944-7298
E-mail: ala@ala.org
Web: http://www.ala.org/alsc

ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading, English, and
Communication
Indiana University
Smith Research Center
2805 East 10th Street, Suite 150
Bloomington, IN 47408-2698
Toll Free: 1-800-759-4723
Phone: 812-855-5847
E-mail: ericcs@indiana.edu
Web: http://www.indiana.edu/~eric_rec

International Reading Association
Public Information Office
800 Barksdale Road
P.O. Box 8139
Newark, DE 19714-8139
Phone: 302-731-1057
E-mail: marketing@reading.org
Web: http://www.ira.org/

Reading Is Fundamental (RIF)
Department WB
P.O. Box 23444
Washington, DC 20026
Phone: 202-287-3220
Web: http://www.si.edu/rif/

• Unhappiness with physical appearance
  
  
• Depression, irritability, isolation from others
  
  
• Fear of eating in front of others
  
  
• Refusal to eat what others are eating; demanding alternative meals
  
  
• Bringing his or her own special foods to family events.
  
  
• Restricting the amounts, types, or food groups eaten.
  
  
• Demonstrating food quirks such as drinking lots of water before meals, cutting food up into tiny pieces and pushing them around plate, chewing food and spitting into a napkin, eating the same foods every day, demonstrating rigidity about times to eat or the order in which food is consumed.
  
  
• Needing to try on many outfits before finding one that "looks good."
  
  
• Complaining of stomachaches or other physical symptoms before meals.
  
  
• Disappearance into the bathroom during or immediately following meals.
  
  
• Failure to menstruate monthly.

• Parents need to prevent problems by providing nourishing food and meals, and by consistently modeling healthy eating behaviors. Do not skip meals; sit down to eat with your child and family as often as possible. Only 50% of American families enjoy regular dinners together.

• Intervene intelligently, knowledgeably. Confront the child with your observations and concerns, with the dangers of ignoring an impending eating disorder. Defining a problem is the first step towards finding a solution.
  
  
• Know thyself. Parents must understand that own issues regarding food and weight could inadvertently interfere with their ability to accurately assess or respond to a problem in their child.
  
  
• Don't be afraid to be your child's parent.
  
  
• In seeking professional help, look for clinicians who will welcome you as an intrinsic part of the treatment process and team, who are willing to involve the total family in treatment and in creating and living a healthy lifestyle.

As Simons explains, "Some teachers may resent a new child. The classroom will be out of phase. It throws off the social order and it's more work for them to assimilate this child into the class."

"Parents should give the receiving school as much information as possible. The worst thing to do is drop a child into a classroom without the teacher having any prior knowledge of who he or she is."

Experts agree that visits to the school prior to beginning classes are helpful.

• Take a few moments (or hours) to bring the heat back to yourself. Concentrating on your own needs and body is really important.



• Feeling saggy, baggy, and flabby? Indulge yourself in the props you need—oysters and wine, lingerie, heels and lipstick, bubble baths and massage oil, chocolates, pedicures—whatever! Stop waiting for your lover to bring the props and, what's more, appreciate them even if he doesn't.



• Once you feel the glimmers of lust and love rise in you, only then should you begin to plan a romance revival in your equally tired partner.

• Plan a sleep date. What could be more romantic than to sleep in your lover's arms? Remember when you were dating, when that's all you longed for? For those of us with a family bed, or a sleepless child, or both, the idea is bliss. (Planning a sleep date may entail hiring a babysitter to spend the night with your child, or bribing the grandparents to take on the task.)
  
  
• How about a hot bath for the two of you, complete with candles and bubbles? Wait until the baby is "down." Oh yeah, this isn't about sex (yet).
  
  
• Take the time to get romantic. No matter how tired you are, how positive you are that the very moment you sit down to a glass of candle-lit wine, the baby will start crying. Do it anyway. Shove the piles of clean, unfolded laundry off the couch, and settle down. If you end up making goo-goo eyes to each other over the prone form of a nursing child, so be it.
  
  
• Lower your expectations for romantic evenings. If you've got a new baby, it doesn't matter if you've managed to find a babysitter, you're still going to spend at least 80 percent of your time together talking about the little one's bodily functions (or, if you can elevate it beyond the diaper, his dimply smile).
  
  
• Take an undeclared break from complaining about your weight, cellulite, wrinkles, or whatever. When you're feeling old and worn out, dowdy and matronly, it's hard to understand how he can still find you gorgeous and succulent. Trust me, he can. (But it helps if you don't point out your flaws.)
  
  
• Make his favorite meal for him (not the one you think is good for him).

• Indulge your lover's vice—cigars, horses, lottery tickets, women (just kidding).



• Get him a toy—video game, itty-bitty cell phone, balsa wood glider.



• Let him sleep late.



• Do his least favorite chore. And just smile graciously when he thanks you.



• Dance together in the living room.



• Take him out for dinner and dancing and don't make him decide where to go.



• Go to the adult-rated drive-in (any drive-in will do in a pinch).



• Display your best physical attribute (yes, ladies, that means losing the nursing bra and comfy shoes).



• Pamper him. How about coffee in bed and a ride to the post office?



• Give him a full-body massage with no expectations.



• Give him two sporting event tickets—especially if you don't like to go (and then force yourself to go).



• Tickle his funny bone.



• Make him a list of the sexiest things about him: His long lean thighs, his deep-set blue eyes, the way his hands slide over your torso, perhaps his laugh, his wink . . . OK, make your own list!



• Make yourself a list of your own sexiest attributes, stick it in your bottom drawer for easy access, and don't let him see it, ever.

Children are the great paradox. All at once, they represent, for their parents, both the Fountain of Youth and the Picture of Dorian Gray.

• Tummy Tuck: $4,205
  
• Breast Augmentation: $3,043
  
• Breast Lift: $3,503

According to an article published by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), "sports help children develop physical skills, get exercise, make friends, have fun, learn to play as a member of a team, learn to play fair, and improve self-esteem."

• providing emotional support and positive feedback
  
  
• attending some games and talking about them afterward
  
  
• having realistic expectations for your child
  
  
• learning about the sport and supporting your child's involvement
  
  
• helping your child talk with you about their experiences with the coach and other team members
  
  
• helping your child handle disappointments and losing, and
  
  
• modeling respectful spectator behavior

1. Write down at least fifty things you dream of doing. These could be things you wished for as a child or things you wish for now. Big dreams, small dreams, realistic, or unrealistic. Don't pre-judge them, just write them all down.
   
   
2. Take three minutes and write down all the things you would do if you found out that something would happen to you in one year. (Don't worry about details; just focus on your dreams.)
   
   
3. Compare the lists. What did you put in the second list? These are the things that are really important to you.
   
   
4. Pick, from both lists, five dreams on which you would like to focus. You can do most everything you want in life, but you can't do everything all at once.

1. Goals must have dates (e.g., I will complete my education by the time my son is six).
   
   
2. Goals must be specific (e.g., I will start walking and lifting weights every week to get fit).
   
   
3. Goals must be possible. If you have never skated, you likely won't become a gold medalist, but you could set a goal to learn to figure skate.
   
   
4. Goals are incremental. You need long-term, short-term, weekly and daily goals.
   
   
5. You must write down your goals and commit to them. A great idea is to do this activity with a friend and share your goals, thus creating a stronger commitment.

1. The chores will take twice as long.
2. You'll have to clean up once the chores are done.

But kids love to help, and the sooner they learn basic skills, the sooner they'll become your partners at cleanup time. Here are a few tasks that even toddlers can do with just a little training.

Clearing tables is even easier. One Thanksgiving, my three-year-old kept bringing me the dirty dishes as I filled the dishwasher. To my amazement, she had cleared the entire table and was wiping it down with a sponge by the time I had finished loading the dishwasher!

Instead, they are spending more time behind locked doors watching television, playing video and computer games, and as recent studies have shown, growing obese. Other children often have afternoon schedules full of structured activities, including music, dance instruction, drama classes, and tennis lessons.

Compounding the dilemma is the trend of public school districts eliminating recess in elementary schools. Those doing away with outdoor activity claim that it is a waste of time better spent on academics, that playground injuries promote lawsuits, that children might come in contact with threatening strangers while outdoors, and that there is a shortage of teachers and volunteers willing to supervise play activities.

Early Years Are Learning Years is a regular series from NAEYC, providing tips for giving young children a great start on learning.

All friendships are at the mercy of events beyond our control, which is one of the reasons we cherish their fragile pleasures. In hindsight, I wish I had known it was safe to let go of Cathy when she needed to be left alone. Not clinging to a friend is also part of friendship. Even enduring relationships have their own timetables, with cooling off periods that can last months and even years. As it turned out, my friendship with Cathy was only on hiatus. We were lucky: The birth of her baby heralded what was only a brief interruption.

The TV spell had finally been broken. I'm sure my ranting and lecturing could be heard for blocks as I tore into them for their unacceptable (not to mention disrespectful) behavior. My punishment was swift and severe—no play dates for a month, and no television for a week.

• On foot: Make sure your child stays on the sidewalk, walks against traffic, and only crosses a street where there is a crossing guard.
  
  
• By bus: The National Safety Council offers these school bus-safety tips: (1) Have a safe place to wait for the bus, away from traffic and the street; (2) Stay away from the bus until it comes to a complete stop and the driver signals that it's okay to approach; (3) Exit the bus and walk ten giant steps away from the bus; (4) Use the handrail to enter and exit the bus.
  
  
• By bike: A helmet is a must. Walk bikes through intersections.
  
  
• In the car: No matter how close you are to school, take the extra few seconds to buckle up your child. "We're full of excuses," says Christer Gustafsson, Senior Safety Engineer for Volvo Cars in Sweden. "But in the end, if we don't belt our children, we're setting them up for injuries or death."

Both victims and bullies need our help, and it's important to recognize the myths about bullies and the warning signs indicating that your may child be bullying other children or is the victim of bullying. Additionally, there are strategies parents can use to help kids gain the skills needed to be more effective socially or to advocate more effectively themselves.

• Have you heard that boys bully more often than girls do? You may be surprised to learn that girls bully just as much as boys do, but typically with words instead of fists. Verbal aggression can be just as damaging as physical aggression, sometimes more so.



• Do you think victims of bullying look or act in ways that encourage others to bully them? Certainly not true. While a bully may target a child based on his or her diversity, victims are usually chosen without a great deal of thought. Things usually get out of hand when adults or peers fail to step in to stop the bullying.



• Lastly, do you believe bullies are just mean-spirited kids who need some good old-fashioned discipline? The truth is, bullies aren't necessarily "bad" kids. A bully may be a child that lacks the skills necessary to fit in and feel good about himself without bringing others down in the process. And sometimes a bully is a child who is seeking attention as a way of coping with difficult family situations.

• Controlling
• Hot tempered
• Bossy with friends or siblings
• Persistent about getting his own way
• Challenging with authority figures
• Often angry especially if his feelings are hurt
• Insensitive to the needs of others
• Intimidating to other children
• Likely to name call or tease
• An attention seeker
• Easily frustrated

• Provide structure and clear boundaries. Talk to your child about acceptable ways to behave with others. You owe it to your child to be clear about what you expect of him.



• Set limits and follow through effectively. If you want your child to get the message that bullying others is unacceptable, you will need to consistently follow through with appropriate consequences.



• Validate feelings and assist with verbal expression. Your child may not have the effective communication skills to get what she needs and wants. Role model the positive ways she can get her needs met.



• Seek professional help. Often a bully's attention seeking behavior is his attempt to deal with his feelings about difficult family matters. Get the help you need to address the tough issues that may be affecting your family.

• Having trouble sleeping
• Irritable or restless
• Eating poorly
• Coming home with unexplained bruises or scratches
• Less communicative
• Secretive about what is going on at school
• Not spending time with friends
• Spending more time alone
• Missing homework assignments
• Skipping school
• Doing poorly in school
• Not very involved with extracurricular activities

• Provide clear strategies for dealing with bullies. Talk to your child about the steps he can take when a peer at school or in the neighborhood is intimidating him.



• Connect with school staff on behalf of your child. Bullying is not an issue to take lightly. Work with teachers and guidance staff in making sure your child is safe and effective when dealing with a bully at school.



• Validate feelings and assist with verbal expression. Your child needs an outlet to deal with the intense feelings associated with being a victim of bullying. Let your child know you are there to support him.



• Seek professional help. Your child's self-esteem may be affected by incidents of bullying. Get the help your child needs to address the tough issues that may be associated with being a victim of bullying.

D) It all depends on whom you talk to!

Despite the oft-held belief that an IQ of 130 and above is "gifted," IQ is only one measure. Gifted learners are "children and youth with outstanding talent who perform or show the potential for performing at remarkably high levels of accomplishment when compared with others of their age, experience, or environment," according to the U.S. Department of Education.

It is possible to recognize giftedness in a toddler, or even in a baby. Cole had passed all the baby milestones early; he was observant and curious from an early age; even as a toddler he had a long attention span for topics that interested him; his command of the language is outstanding; he's very funny; he picks up abstract mathematical concepts easily; he worries about morality and death, and he pursues topics like robotics, marine life, botany, dinosaurs, and outer space with an intensity I've rarely encountered outside of college.

Often when a gifted child's mind is challenged—even in just one subject area—the behavior and attention problems cease and the child starts to do well in all areas. According to the National Association for Gifted Children, "There is physical and psychological pain in being thwarted, discouraged and diminished as a person. To have ability, to feel power you are never allowed to use, can become traumatic. Many researchers consider the gifted as the largest group of under-achievers in education."

• Compacting. This shortens the time spent on topics. Once a child has mastered a skill she isn't required to continue studying it simply because the rest of the class is.



• Cluster grouping. This groups high-ability kids together in the classroom. Independent study lets kids explore the required curriculum within a creative project—one that interests and engages them and lets them explore it more deeply.



• Acceleration lets a kid jump ahead a grade or two, sometimes only in one or two subjects, so that he can fulfill his craving for faster learning.

The easiest way to begin organizing the playroom is by sorting the toys into different categories. Try to keep them simple, for example, cars, books, blocks, etc. Once you've done this, you can get a fair idea of what storage units you have available and what you still need. Vertical storage is generally the most efficient and accessible way to store toys, and takes up less space than other methods.

It's essential to get rid of broken or unused toys regularly. Allow the children to be part of the process if they are old enough, and consider choosing a time just before a birthday or Christmas when they know that at least some of the toys will soon be replaced.

While fascinating, these studies don't mean that your child will never achieve athletic greatness if he or she does not produce actinin—they only indicate that the child not producing the speed gene may be better suited to specific endurance activities and field games such as soccer and baseball, rather than those where speed is essential.

A study carried out in Boston by Shari Kuchenbecker, Ph.D. on how much psychological and physical characteristics matter in the development of young athletes showed interesting results. The study surveyed 658 coaches (male and female) of athletes between the ages of three and twenty two to characterize the athletes' winning potential from a list of 64 physical and 64 psychological characteristics. Results showed that psychological factors such as "loves to play" and "positive attitude" far out-weighed physical skills like "natural physical athlete" or "good eye-hand coordination."

For example, I know that good hand-eye coordination runs in my family. My father was once the South African heavy-weight boxing champion; he was the best in a sport which relies on exceptional hand-eye coordination and split second timing. As a small child, I displayed the same skills of hand-eye coordination while learning to play tennis and have always had above average catching skills. I also found that learning to roller skate and ice skate was a relatively simple task, as I had also inherited my father's excellent sense of balance.

Dr. McDuff says, "While it is generally true that you get out what you put in, it is also important that an athlete have fun to keep training and competing." He adds that too much training without breaks or variation can, and does, lead to sports burnout. He gives an example of two 14-year-olds—a distance runner and a gymnast—who came to him with performance problems. "I could tell immediately they were not happy training or competing, both were too focused on the outcome and not enjoying the fun of the process of training and competing. In both we worked to shift the attention to finding something enjoyable about training and building confidence on it. For the gymnast we focused on attentional shifting and centering; she began to learn relaxation techniques that she put into her pre-competitive routine and she eventually shifted to another club where the coaches were more positive. The runner did not like competition and if she focused on placing first or second in a race she was miserable. In her we changed the focus to running up while improving her ability to surge and recover. Just by shifting away from the results her times improved dramatically."

It is also important to ensure that your child is engaged in a sport that is age-appropriate. Joe Churley, MD, professor of pediatrics, adolescent and sports medicine at Houston's Baylor College of Medicine, says that before the age of five the closest kids come to sports is throwing, catching, running, jumping, and swimming—basically "sports" is letting them do what they like to do in a safe, supervised environment.

Dr. Churley goes on to say that although growth spurts at ages ten through twelve can cause problems, children at these ages can follow instructions, track objects more easily and put together complex sports like hockey, basketball, soccer, and football.

"I recommend the use of positive self-talk and positive affirmations," agrees Dr. McDuff. "I try to help individuals or teams develop specific phrases that if repeated, will reinforce the desired action. For example, I did some work for a gymnastics club recently and in meeting with the coaches we agreed that it was vital for young gymnasts to learn to keep their core muscles tight. Through discussions they decided to use the term 'beam tight.' Beam tight was then shortened to 'BT' which also meant belly tight or butt tight (two core muscle groups). To make practice more fun (another important strategy for children) they introduced 'BT' checks and competitions."

Your child's developing character traits will also determine to what extent she develops as an athlete, as her character helps shape her day-to-day behavior and serves as the basis for her actions–both on and off the playing field. The experts all agree that the main factor influencing your child's character through organized sports involvement is that she enjoy playing the game, win or lose.

After ushering a baby into the world, it is difficult to think about one's own mortality. But taking the time to write a will now is one of the most important things you can do for your child. Losing a parent at any age is difficult, and making sure your baby is cared for financially, emotionally, and physically will alleviate anxiety for you and your partner—and prevent undue stress for your child and extended family should a trauma indeed occur.

• Do you have confidence in the individual(s)?
  
• Is your choice able to handle the physical requirements of being guardian?
  
• Does he/she have the time?
  
• If he/she has a family, are their kids close to the age of your child?
  
• Can you provide enough money to raise the child—and if not, can your prospective guardian cover the costs?
  
• After you've made the decision, choose an alternate guardian to include in your will. He or she will take care of your child in the event that your primary choice is unable to do the job.

Many parents follow this route and select one person to care for their child (a guardian) and another to watch the checkbook (a trustee). This is a wise choice for any family. "Thought should be given to writing guidelines for the guardian(s) and/or trustee(s) to follow, so they can make the same kinds of decisions that the parents would make. But it all starts with choosing the right people," Palermo adds. His book, Crash Course on Wills & Trusts provides additional information and will be published through Barnes & Noble this September.

Though it may seem more time effective to create a single joint will, it is better to make separate legal wills for each parent. In the event that something happens to you and not your spouse, this allows the surviving parent more room to adapt to changing circumstances. When outlining separate wills, each spouse should name the other as sole beneficiary of any remaining assets as well as guardian for any surviving children.

If you have a life insurance policy, 401k, or IRA account, be aware that sometimes the beneficiary forms accompanying these documents overrule wills. The funds in these accounts will be distributed to whomever you name—regardless of whom you specify in your will. You'll need to double check the names on these accounts and make changes to match the names with those you dictate in your will.

"If there is truly no money and no unusual planning called for," says Palermo, "then many young parents would not go wrong using self-help software from www.nolo.com." Investing in a kit with pre-made forms and/or software will provide you with most of the paperwork you need to construct a basic will. Additional websites such as www.legal-kits.net, www.legalkitstore.com, www.uslegalforms.com, www.legalzoom.com, www.willsofamerica.com, Making-a-legal-will.com, DoYourOwnWill.com, www.legacywriter.com, and www.buildawill.com all offer kits priced from as low as $10 and up to about $100. Some of these sites, such as uslegalforms.com, even offer preparation services at a low additional cost. And advanced sites, such as legalzoom.com and legacywriter.com walk you through an in-depth questionnaire process to ensure your will is accurate and best suited to your needs.

When choosing a lawyer, ask co-workers, family, and friends for referrals. Some schools and universities have online bulletin boards with recommended services—a great place to look for an estate planner. Palermo suggests, "Don't do business with somebody who won't or can't answer your questions and explain everything." He adds, "Be aware that some attorneys see 'wills' as just a commodity and don't do much estate planning. They probably won't be able to spot individual family issues and/or opportunities, if any exist."

There are three main forms of passing along assets to your child. In each instance, hiring an attorney is a good idea. One of the most common choices for distribution of inheritance is establishing a trust for your child. A trust allows you to parcel out money to your child a little bit at a time, or all of it at a certain age. "...If there is a life insurance policy and/or retirement account, there could be substantial funds that would have to be managed for the children's future, even [if] the parents are cash-poor right now," Palermo points out. "This situation definitely calls for a trust."

A trust can also set up guidelines for distributing funds for education, home-buying, what to do in the event of marital or substance abuse problems, and so on.

You can also pass along property and money to your child through something called property guardianship. In this situation, you name a person to handle your child's inheritance until he or she turns 18. This financial guardian will need to fill out paperwork outlining your assets as well as file annual reports explaining how your funds are being handled.

A custodial account, governed by the Uniform Transfers to Minor Act, is a wise choice for transferring property to your child if the financial trustee you've chosen has a solid history of good financial investments. In this case, the custodian is recognized by most financial institutions immediately—this helps the job of taking care of your child's finances much easier. If you choose this path, the courts will have no oversight over custodial accounts. You banker or stockbroker can set up this type of an account for you in just minutes.

The American College of Trust and Estate Council (www.actec.org) is a searchable database of local estate planners near you.

• Clean out your medicine cabinet and the area where you store medical supplies at least once a year.
  
  
• Discard outdated products, damaged containers, and old supplie